Plugging along...

I had an aunt who, regardless of what was going on (she was happy, she was sick, she was in the hospital, she was at church), when asked how she was she would always reply "just plugging along". She had a personality we used to call "perky" - always moving, always something to do with her hands. It seemed to serve her well to have this stock answer as, when her Alzheimer's progressed, she simply gave that same answer regardless how confused or afraid she was. I used to think that it was a silly thing to say - that it really related no real information about what was going on in her life or what she thought.

Last night, we had a meeting on the 3rd Concept and "Right of Decision". It was painful and cathartic for me in that I relived some of the unresolved stuff I wrote about a few weeks ago in this blog (AA Service, A new...) as I developed my thoughts and perspectives on that event. It was suggested to me that I wasn't "portraying a very positive view of AA service".

I think I just realized the disconnect...

I get it that I do this stuff (life - but including AA service) because my life depends on it and it is a privilege and an honor and that it's only by God's grace that I get to be useful anywhere in my life. My best efforts led me to wreck multiple families and wish for oblivion.

So, "plugging along" means "my life is fine" - "beyond my wildest imaginations". That, if my feelings are hurt or I'm sad or I don't get what I want, it's because it's perfect. It's wonderful! Really!!!

"Plugging along" is so much better than any of the alternatives I've engineered in the past that there's no comparison.

Thank God for one clear thought at a time...

Ed