Sunday, April 19, 2009

How anonymous???

Some of the folks on the web have helped and encouraged me in my struggles with understanding and applying the principle of anonymity for my presence on the web. I appreciate the fact that many have been doing this for years and have reconciled their participation in the blogosphere with their programs admirably. I have tried to learn from their (your) experiences.

That said, my case might be slightly different (sigh, isn't it ever true ;-) ). I re-read an article I wrote in February last night (Anonymity on the Web - One Member’s View) and it still rings generally true for me so I think I'll stay on that path for a while longer.


I have a wonderful, amazing relationship with my daughter. I often cite that relationship as a direct example of the miracles that happen as a consequence of the 9th step in AA and Al-Anon (she was an active member of Al-Anon for a number of years). We share an intimacy and love that is amazing - I probably know more about the details of her life than any father would ever want to know. I am incredibly proud of her life and her character - she is one of my strongest role models of what a "recovered" life might look like. We love each other unconditionally...

I was on the phone with my daughter the other day and, in the course of discussing "what's new", I shared with her some of what I was doing on the web. She wanted to see some of it. I told her, without thinking, that I would send her some links. I will send her several links to different personal and commercial sites that I have in progress. I never even thought about sending her the link to this blog and another site that I maintain anonymously.

But, why not? Who I am is reflected as much in these sites as it is in those others - perhaps more so. I don't think there's anything that I've written here that would embarrass or upset her. Who would be harmed?

...except, I have this "hunch" that the whole anonymity thing might be more like pregnancy (she was just a little pregnant?) than like shades of gray (it's really closer to purple?)...

I'm still noodling on this. I have to have the patience to wait for an answer - truth is, I would really like to share this with her, but I wonder if there is any purpose served by her knowing I am the author?

I pray God that more be revealed...



Scott W said...

Good luck with that.

Steve E. said...

When a guitar player asks a violinist
"How do you know where to put your fingers on a violin, there's no markers?"

Violinist answers: "Violin players don't fret!"

As far as anonymity goes, I do my best everywhere except on this blog, where most of us are recovering. I do not say anything I would not say at an 'open' AA meeting.

And as the violin player said, I choose to not fret too much over it, and I sleep good.

I think the NY GSO would declare us on this blog list definitely against the Traditions.

Mary Christine said...

GSO has weighed in on web presence. We who do not use our full names or have an image of our faces are not breaking anonymity.

Some of my family have found my blog and read it regularly - that has changed how I write - for the worse. I think you made a good decision not to share your blog with your daughter.

Syd said...

I don't share mine with family members. It's too personal. And my wife has never asked.