Thursday, April 9, 2009

Desperation, Sickness, Willingness...


I have a sponsee who I've met with at 6am on Thursdays for nearly 2-1/2 years. We've made it all the way through to the 9th step, he got in trouble with some prescribed drugs, got distracted by a new potential lover, got distracted with other programs, drank, made it back - you know, the usual path. ;-) I don't play much with my sponsees' drama, but he's one who many of us have shook our heads over for many, many years (before and since I've sponsored him).

At this point, I seem to be sponsoring several folks who are newish in sobriety (2 months to 2 years) and all are finding it increasingly difficult to show up when they say they will (they are sick, have car problems, oversleep - if you sponsor folks, you've probably heard it).

Anyway, this post is not about them but a general observation of how the principles of willingness are supported from a platform of desperation and surrender. This seems to be where the factor God's grace makes the difference - some seem to get it, others don't.

Anyone - me, their families, friends, employers, themselves - anyone can look at their lives and point out:
  1. What a mess their lives were a short time ago
  2. How much better it has become so quickly by not drinking and taking spiritual actions
Yet, if you've been around a while, you've seen the story. I've felt so desperate for them at times that I could shake them, beat the crap out of them, cried over them and with them - but somehow, my desperation doesn't make them any more willing...

One more day of prayer for them...

Ed

3 comments:

Syd said...

Ed, I wonder sometimes how tough to be on new sponsees. Some are in so much pain that they can't even hear what is being said. I think that if they want to get well, then they have to do the work. But I can't make them so I just have to do my part. Their part is up to them and God.

Mary Christine said...

It is truly an inside job. It is so hard to watch this process. And such a joy when it happens... when that light goes on.

Scott W said...

It takes what it takes. And it's different for everyone. Our primary purpose is to stay sober ourselves and help others recover from alcoholism.