As I've traveled around the country, I've run into the custom where some AA communities and central offices call their AA meeting lists the "Where and When" We're not as creative in Colorado - I think I've only heard them called "meeting lists" here.
For some peculiar reason, the idea of "where and when" just sort of resonated with me today.
Yesterday here it was bright, sunny and at or near 70 F. degrees. Tonight we're in the 30s with up to a foot of snow predicted. It doesn't even stick for a day with the ground and roads as warm as they are now but it still makes a mess and everybody has to grumble some.
I have a few sponsees who are going through tough patches now. I have been too so I've not been real sympathetic to their particular dramas but, increasingly, I'm struck by my sponsor's principle of being simpatico. It seems they're all wrapped up in variations of the drama of "...I don't get what I want, when I want it."
My whole life seems to be about getting to where God wants me to be there when I am needed to be there, and then really being there when I'm there.
Where and when - if I can be "here", "now", my life is a whole different experience.
OK - I have 3 minutes to upload a blog article to explain my absence (this time for both reading and posting) and the only thing that comes to mind is:
"I've been sick..."
OK - that doesn't work for me either, but it's the closest to the truth that I can find today.
No, I'm not in ill health (thank God!) - what's been going on is:
a new job (thank God!)
lots of work on commitments that have fallen behind
a deep seated ego-illness that has decimated my spirit
judgments by myself and others around me
OK - I think I can see what I could eliminate to regain some of the vast amount of time that I used to enjoy sharing on this medium.
From my own life, that of sponsees and virtually every direction I've turned to over the past few weeks, the message has been all about: "...what is it you're really committed to today? Life on a spiritual basis or dying from the disease of alcoholism?"
Today, I ask God to remove my fear and direct me to who he would have me be.