Trudging is one of those words that I thought I knew and understood but had some sort of spiritual experience where I could really see later...
I used to envision when they said in the Big Book "...as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny" that they were pointing to the dreary effort that I presumed a life without booze would be. Think of the feeling 3/4 way up a 7.5 mile hike up a 14er peak in Colorado - you're tired, sore, hating every step, wishing you were in better shape, not noticing the gorgeous surroundings, just wishing it were "over". Indeed, most common definitions of trudge today are something around a "weary, heavy walk...".
However, I was at a party a few years ago and we were looking through our dictionary which was published in 1939 and we came up with a different definition of: "to walk deliberately or with strong intention" (sorry, can't find the dictionary now to get it exactly right...).
Suddenly, I saw the reference in the Big Book (and what I'm to be about in my life) in a whole different light. I'm simply to make progress toward a spirit-led life with a mindful intention.
So, today my life is about "trudging". I find myself fighting myself in the struggle to "improve" myself - eat better, get more exercise, make more money - pick anything to look at and I'm struggling.
The answer to the struggle is to stop struggling and ask God for the grace to do what's next. So far, God's been faithful. Yet, I struggle.
So, as I float this article out into the blogosphere, it goes with the prayer that, for today, I can be the best I can be, that I learn what there is to learn and that God will find use and purpose for me that I may not see for myself.
Keep on trudging...
he was pretty broken up about his relapse
2 months ago