I have a weekly breakfast meeting with a sponsee. This guy has better than 2 decades of sobriety and he has an amazing mind to observe and play with. He can get into something (a rant, his work, something said at a meeting, his kids, etc.) and keeping up with his conversation is like drinking from a fire hose - he definitely can be full on entertainment for a morning. I'm pretty low key and reserved and watching us have a conversation must look from the outside like a tennis match between Roger Federer on speed and Steven Wright on Thorazine.
I have been sponsoring him for over 15 years and I wonder what I'm doing in that relationship sometimes. We've been through the book and the steps, we've done inventories and worked through life's little and big problems, we're way clear what our relationship is and what it isn't - I just wonder how I can be useful. (or is that ?)
For years in the program, I had "sponsor envy". I would hear folks share of their wonderful, wise, insightful, sponsors and say - "...how do you get one of those?..." It was just one more way how I could be less than everyone else.
Then, I realized in retrospect, I've always had the perfect guides when I needed them. Imagine!
In truth, I've realized what a blessing it has been for me to walk with some giants among men - some big, some smaller, but truly giants.
I wonder what my friend thinks? Truth is, I think know...
Isn't it nice I'm not in charge?
Peace,
Ed
Just checking in
5 years ago
4 comments:
It just seems to all fall into place when we turn our life and our will over to the care of another.
I'm really really blessed to have a network of wonderful guides around me to share truth with me and to show me what accountability is.
I'm lucky not to have chosen a sponsor, but for one to have been chosen for me, and then to get to work with another sponsor who is there to share the experiences I have weekly just to get stuff off my chest.
I'm lucky to have a great Episcopal priest as a friend and fellow who helps me to work out the Grace and prayer part of my life.
I'm lucky to continue to find good stuff to read and good people to interact with that help me to see where I still need God so much to help me through a day in my head :)
Thanks for this... sometimes I forget how blessed I really am.
I found my way here through Pam, hope you dont mind if I do some lurking and possibly some commenting?
Paula:
Fine by me - welcome!!!
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