I met with a sponsee this morning who had diagnosed himself for what I would call a near- slip as "euphoric recall". I've never heard this term before but taking it at face value and based on his explanation, I think of it as "...fondly remembering the good times (while drinking)..."
In my recovery, I've always appreciated that there were, in fact, some really good times. I still think of them as good times. While I can appreciate the line "I wouldn't trade my best day as a drunk for my worst day sober...", it's not always been my experience that I authentically feel that way. Sometimes, but not always.
Some of the bad advice I was given early in sobriety was something to the effect of "just think through the first drink" or "imagine the consequences of going back to the life you left" While I can appreciate the nature of this encouragement, the Big Book and my experience bear out the truth that fear of consequences won't keep me sober. That, in fact, one of the aspects of my disease is that, at times, I can't recall the consequences of drinking with sufficient force to keep me sober.
My sponsee and I set the jargon aside and had a conversation about honesty, grace, faith and hope.
...and being of service to others...
I'm still worried about him - he is a chronic slipper (for the ~7 years that he's been hanging around AA) and has a few months now so his wiring is programmed toward heading back toward a drink.
I pray for him. If you have a spare moment, I'd ask you to pray too...
Thank you for that...
Ed
he was pretty broken up about his relapse
7 years ago
3 comments:
Done. The 'fear of consequences won't keep me sober' is so true. I never thought of that when I hear think it all the way through.
Ed, I'm glad to have found your blog. I hope that your sponsee thinks about what it's like to go back out. My prayers always include the sick and suffering.
There is no chapter called "into thinking" - - I hope he can stay sober. I will say a prayer.
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