Feeling mushy...

It has way more to do with my allergies and dealing with constant sneezing and hacking with them (I'm SO tired of explaining that it's NOT the flu - ANY kind of flu...) than any sort of great spiritual experience or growth but I find that I really hate that feeling that I used to work so hard to perpetuate. Sort of numb to the world. Sort of groggy. I'm sick of people assuming I just got up when I answer the phone or looking at me like I'm trying to kill them when I sneeze. It's just allergies!!!

But, it's my experience and I suppose it is about spiritual growth so I guess I'd best learn the lesson(s) that are in front of me.

I'm a little embarrassed to admit that, in my heart of hearts, I still pretty much presume that I'm going live healthy (body & mind) forever. Apart from my own little infirmity now, I have a sponsee in the ER this morning with a blood clot in his leg, another sponsee who witnessed a fatal car accident yesterday, a sister-in-law transitioning to late-stage COPD, an aunt who died after a 15-year run with Alzheimer's - it's not like I don't have immediate, glaring examples of how thin my lie (living healthy forever) is.

I'm reminded of a corporate sensitivity training a few years ago where I learned that those who are chronically disabled often refer to the rest of us as "temporarily-abled" in that, statistically, it's likely most of us will need some level of accommodation for handicap for some part of our lives before they plant the grass over our remains/ashes.

It's just allergies!!!

But, I'm reminded I'm among the large set of folks who don't have health insurance today. If I were in my sponsee's position this morning, I suppose I might die before it could be ascertained that they could admit me by bankrupting us and taking our house equty. Or, whatever...

It's just allergies!!!!!!

Anyway, I think the principle of the moment is about gratitude that I can learn something, even with a mushy head. That I am responsible for looking for an opportunity to contribute in my life today. I am responsible for mainting the cadaver the God has entrusted me with but that my over-all health and well being is not going to be an outcome that I get to totally control.

And, today I'm just fine...