Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Step 5

We had a meeting last night about the 5th step. I was reminded of my 1st attempt at a 5th step in AA.

I had spent the typical (for me) 7 months + a Sunday morning whining about and finally doing a 4th step. The whole AA community where I went to meetings had gotten together and "scheduled" my 5th step because they were tired of hearing about all my schemes to get done with this seemingly never started 4th step.

As I shared some of my stuff with my then sponsor, he trotted out some of his stuff and we had a great time of sharing...

...some of my stuff...

I had, in fact, some things that I really didn't want to share with my sponsor. While I think he really intended to be a closed-mouth friend, he had his own "issues" and, even today, I think it was a good instinct to not take these particular parts of my past to him.

It was probably also not such a good idea to complete my 5th step with the particular Episcopal priest/friend that I did. As I related to him what I was about (my purpose there) and revealed those things I was so embarrassed about, he took the time to explain how I probably wasn't really an alcoholic. That, in fact, he was pretty sure I drank less than him. And, it seemed I still had some standing in the community and he'd seen "real" alcoholics and proceeded to try to talk me out of my membership in AA.

Of the several 5th steps I've taken over my 25 years in the program, this was the only one where I was offered a drink as I was leaving.

I suppose I was not the least bit surprised when he ran into trouble with his parish a few years later and was asked to leave. Last I heard (several years ago), he was living a somewhat tormented life on the coast of Maine.

I stayed sober and my spiritual walk has improved over time. I've always been amused by this part of my sober walk.

More proof that God, not me, is in charge of this deal...

5 comments:

Prayer Girl said...

Great story.

Thank God that God was in charge then and now.

PG

Syd said...

I felt relieved when I did my fifth step. It will be time for another soon. I have grown but there is always need to grow more. Thanks for the story.

Steve E. said...

One thing that priest did not understand,that alcoholism is a "thinking" disease...NOT a "drinking" disease. Too me a long time to understanf that, also.

Mary Christine said...

Isn't it amazing what happens with this step?

Carol said...

I think it's good to tell an honest story, like yours. I'm glad that you trusted your instincts with your sponsors. That's valuable stuff for people in program to hear. Thank you for sharing it.