Monday, June 1, 2009

Anonymity - a clue?

I usually don't mix my blog and face AA worlds (for now). My rationale for that is contained in an article I wrote a few months ago and seems to have come up 3-4 times since I wrote it...

I was talking with a good friend - catching up with what has been going on. He's a former sponsee that I've had better than a 15 year relationship with in AA. We've seen each other through joy and darkness. I love him like a brother and we usually get together every week or 2 at the least.

Actual conversation:
Me - What's going on with you?

Him - (a more detailed list than usual - we really care about each other)

Him - What's going on with you?

Me - (a detailed list)

Him - What did you ever decide to do about the the AA blog thing last winter?

Me - (hesitant - I really have no secrets from this guy) I decided to go ahead with it but do it anonymously.

Him - Cool! What's the address?

Me - (now realizing my great mistake) Well, um, I'm anonymous...

Him - You're not going to tell me?

Me - Well, it's an anonymous blog...

Him - So, no one knows it's you?

Me - Well, it is me - I've just decided to not use the same name that I do in meetings.

Him - ...and not tell anyone who you are?

Me - That seems to be the point of anonymity.

Him - So, no-one knows who you are online?

Me - Well, everyone knows who I am online - just as everyone knows who I am at a face meeting...

Him - No exceptions?

Me - Well, I keep my sponsor in the loop...

Him - So, he knows what your web address is?

Me - Probably not - I told him but he's not really into the online thing and is pretty busy so I'd be surprised if he remembers the address or looks at it. I just talk to him about what's going on in my life - online or anywhere.

Him - I could probably find you online...

Me - I don't doubt it - it's really not that big a deal but I just don't use my "face" name and it seems like it's better that way.

Him - So, why did you tell me about this?

Me - It probably wasn't a good idea but you asked and I answered...

Him - Cool. (on to the next subject)

I learned something today...


Syd said...

I prefer to maintain anonymity. My wife knows that I blog but doesn't know the address. I don't want to hold back on here, although I do to a certain extent. It is just better to be free to post what I want to.

Steve E. said...

You are correct, guys! IMO, that is. Ever since I enticed PG to join us, I knew from the first day--it was a mistake. I'm serious.

This was the one place in the world I had some semblence of privacy. No longer true.

So, although you all probably DO know me by now, this has come about with a cost. It is almost like "Too much truth" between spouses.

We VERY seldom attend the same meeting, maybe 2 times a year. That's the way it should be here, but impossible now. Either all--ot nothing.

I wish that I had asked someone's advice on here first--that's me, though. Ready! Fire! AIM!!!

Scott W said...

That conversation seems to have worked out just fine. 'Him' is a good friend.

Mary Christine said...

If you blog long enough, there will be enough info that people can find you. Imagine the day when a "face" meeting person walks up to you and says "I found your blog." I had that experience, and I didn't like it. And now many in my home group read my blog. People in my family read my blog. It is not what I wanted - at all. But it is what I have got.