Friday, June 12, 2009

Vacation...

So, my sister blew into town (I wrote about her before) and I guess what I did was take a vacation.

From work, from blogging, from life, from almost everything (I did get to a few meetings and stayed in contact with sponsees)...

Funny how life works out that way some times....

I've got to admit that this is the 2nd time my intention of remaining faithful to daily blogging has not happened. (In April the same thing happened in a trip to NYC) I've not been beat up for not keeping up the blog habit (or really even noticed?) by anyone other than me but it does represent a concern of mine. I do not want to become one of the many I've heard others refer to over their sharing of their blogging experience where they blog like gangbusters and then abruptly and completely stop.

...unless that is what is supposed to happen...

I guess what I'm really concerned about is old patterns. Many years ago, I discovered through AA's wonderful 4th step that I was a man with a great future behind me - that, many times through the years, I'd started out on something with the best of intentions, get lots of encouragement, show promise, and then, irrationally and against everyone's expectations (especially mine), I'd disappear. I'd choke. I'd just, well, drop that and move on to the next thing.

...I always hoped that no one would notice - often, well, they did...

When you're living with me and I stop being there - I guess one assumes some things...

I did that with jobs, relationships, projects, savings plans, journals, classes, hobbies, family - dropping what was important was the thing I almost always did.

Staying sober is the only thing I can see in the whole of my life (save eating and sleeping) that I've done for 25+ years consistently. It's a big part of (evidence of?) the miracle.

So, any time today I don't live up to my or others' expectations in a commitment (e.g. daily blogging), it does give me pause and concern because it can demonstrate a sign of spiritual sickness in me. It has been that way for me in the past week - I can see where I could have easily kept my intentions to blog around time with my family and our several outings to Estes Park, dinner, errands, etc.

...but, I didn't...

So, I need to look one more time at my motivations and commitment to doing this deal. As I survey the blogosphere, I see I'm one among thousands that look at this occasionally... I promise I won't make it the theme that I see on some blogger sites (some folks seem to spend 50%+ of their articles relating why they should blog and wondering if they're continuing to blog).

If any one did notice my absence for the past few days and had a moments concern (seems unlikely), I apologize.

And, if I ever do decide to set aside this blog for any reason, I intend to post an article to that effect...

Until then, thank you to the faithful folks I follow who have continued in my absence. Y'all have and continue to make a difference in my life and I love you all...

3 comments:

Steve E. said...

Ed, I really do not think that ANYBODY gives a RF whether you--or I--blog every day, or once annually.

But if it bothers myself, that's another story...

Peace.
S

Mary Christine said...

My daily blogging is important to me for the same reasons. I was a great "starter" when I was drinking.

Syd said...

Ed, I think that writing or blogging has its ebbs and flows. I enjoy writing. But even then, there are days when I'm either too busy, not at my computer or I am just tired.