Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Going slow...


The body and mind are amazing.  It looks like Mike is going to live and recover.

Thank you God...

He has come from a mumbling mass of confusion last week back to where he's walking around the halls and trying to fight his way back to enough health to get out of the hospital.

As I was talking to him on the phone yesterday, I had my first moment of clarity as to how I might help him.  He was explaining in his confused ramble (he's never been the gifted communicator he might fancy that he is, but the drug-addled consciousness doesn't help) about the nuance of working his 10th step with a friend in Alanon and how he's fixing this and changing that, it was clear to me that this is a person who's not really surrendered.  A week ago I visited him in ICU and he couldn't string two sentences together that anyone else could recognize as coherent.  Now he was looking for the bank shot of how he could "fix" his spiritual needs by ...  well, I guess it just doesn't matter what he was thinking - he was simply thinking too much.

So, that's my clarity for how to be of assistance to him.  My suggestion (it's just that) is that we talk long and hard about surrender.  About being really licked.  About being done.  For a long time.  A really long time.  Perhaps for the duration.

Bill W. talks in the movie "Bill Wilson Discusses the 12 Traditions" about how, in the course of developing the wording for AA's 5th Tradition, there were long and argumentative discussions.  Clearly, our real purpose is to lead folks toward a spiritual awakening sufficient to recover from alcoholism.  That's the deal.

But, the only thing that seemed to consistently work with those groups and members who were successful is that they'd learned their lesson from John Barleycorn.  If booze hasn't taught you all the lessons you need, you may not be ready for the solution we have to offer. 

I think that might be a clue with Mike.


Best I've got for now...

5 comments:

Mary Christine said...

Unfortunately some people never seem to learn what they need to from Mr. Barleycorn until they are 6' under.

Mary LA said...

Surrender is core. Keeping Mike in my prayers.

Syd said...

I'm glad that Mike is going to live. And maybe that is something that needs to be stressed. He has another chance to really live--not half live or live to fulfill a quarter of his potential but to really live. I hope that he gets the message in Step One.

I've been told by my sponsor that I can't help an alcoholic. The BB is pretty clear that it is an alcoholic working with another alcoholic that works.

Scott W said...

That was so painful to read, but it just reinforces what is going on with my disease. I need reminders.

Prayers for Mike and everyone suffering.

Scott said...

if booze hasn't tought you... you aren't ready...

I agree 100% sir... you have got to be ready to surrender in order to win