Wednesday, September 30, 2009

High maintenance...

Someone shared in a meeting last night about being a high maintenance person. As she looked nice enough, several of us could have taken that any number of ways but what she clarified was that her spiritual condition was definitely high maintenance.

If she wasn't praying frequently, she was headed toward trouble. If she wasn't constantly examining her thoughts for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear, she might be in significant danger. If she didn't place the constant thought of others before her desires, there were going to be consequences.

I get this.

Sometimes I notice that others in this program don't do as much or bring as much passion as I do to AA (either the program or service). I've been known to feel sorry for myself or whine.

But, shortly after I head down that path (a path I see others taking with seeming impunity, by the way), what the old timers in meetings in the east used to call "stinkin thinkin" returns and I'm off to the races in my disease.

I get that I'm high maintenance also.

Thank God I think I have a relationship today with an adequate mechanic for that maintenance.

5 comments:

Mary Christine said...

I call myself high maintenance too for the same reasons. And have blogged about it many times. My road seems to be about a 1/4" wide most times.

Scott said...

what is it they say at meetings??

"don't judge your insides by someone elses outsides..."

I too have to take great care to watch where I am headed, spiritually speaking. But I have to really be careful not to compare my journey and progress with what others seem to be.

good post!

Scott W said...

Yes! An adequate mechanic!

I bet Liberace was high maintenance.

Syd said...

I like the idea of having constantly monitor my spiritual and emotional health. Just as you wrote, if I let it slide, then I'm heading for trouble.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

Wouldn't it be great if instead of sharing fear we could share encouragement, wisdom and miracles that come from prayer and reflections?

I'm in trouble if
I have to work
If I don't

That's an awful lot of "I" in a program of God reflection.

Jesus, it sure doesn't make recovery sound attractive to me.

Sure glad there are lots and lots of reflections to look at in the rooms, it helps to know we are never alone and never without something to reflect on.

Always a 2 sided coin to look at...

How often do I still share fear instead of faith and miracles?