Tuesday, September 15, 2009


I got a call from Mike on the way home on Sunday. Turns out, he copped to being drunk for much of the previous few days (weeks?). I had expected it - in fact, I'd just said as much to someone in the car not 10 minutes before his call.

I hate it when my guys go out. Over the years, it's happened way more than I've wanted it to. I don't know how many exactly - it's not a statistic that I'm willing or able to look at right now.

All I know is that every time it happens, I really want to fire them all and move on to something like painting water color or arranging flowers or, well, anything other than sponsorship.

I'm real clear with everyone - especially those that ask me to sponsor them - that the only thing that I've got for qualifications on this job are:
  1. I drank myself to the brink of insanity and death
  2. I haven't had a drink for 25+ years
It really seems like they'd demand better qualifications before someone helps them out...

Anyway, it's been gnawing on me today so I thought I'd unload it here.

Mike is a classic "he did everything right case". He's got service positions. A home group. Has worked the steps up through is first few amends.

...except: He's got "issues other than alcohol" (as diagnosed by a doctor and psychiatrist). He has to take medications for mental health stuff. He has a rich, crazy, powerful family. He has siblings he can be "better than" and "less than". He's got to deal with pain medications for past injuries. I don't know why I get some of these "hopeless" cases but it seems like I get more than my share.

He's still texting and calling on the the phone occasionally so I know that he's safe - for now. Philip has been struggling getting a time to meet with me so I gave him Mike's 6am Thursday slot. I fear that will break Mike's heart (he's had that slot for ~3 years even though he's shown up < 1/2 the time through some periods).

...and, I get to stay sober today...



dAAve said...

I'm constantly reminded that not all of us (few, actually) are willing to DO WHATEVER IT TAKES to remain sober continuously.
So, for that, thanks.

Prayer Girl said...

This is one hell of a powerful disease - in fact - cunning, baffling AND powerful.

Watching a sponsee go out breaks the heart, but there is always another wanting help.


Steve E. said...

Insidious Disease.....


Syd said...

I wonder what came first: the mental disease or the alcoholism. I believe that there are those with depression, bipolar disorder, ADHD and a host of other issues that may have become alcoholics due to their mental state. Those are unfortunates who have a double whammy. I hope that Mike decides that he is sick and tired and comes back in. He is lucky to have a sponsor like you. Maybe he will realize that one of these days.

Scott W said...

There's still hope. Fortunately.