High maintenance...

Someone shared in a meeting last night about being a high maintenance person. As she looked nice enough, several of us could have taken that any number of ways but what she clarified was that her spiritual condition was definitely high maintenance.

If she wasn't praying frequently, she was headed toward trouble. If she wasn't constantly examining her thoughts for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear, she might be in significant danger. If she didn't place the constant thought of others before her desires, there were going to be consequences.

I get this.

Sometimes I notice that others in this program don't do as much or bring as much passion as I do to AA (either the program or service). I've been known to feel sorry for myself or whine.

But, shortly after I head down that path (a path I see others taking with seeming impunity, by the way), what the old timers in meetings in the east used to call "stinkin thinkin" returns and I'm off to the races in my disease.

I get that I'm high maintenance also.

Thank God I think I have a relationship today with an adequate mechanic for that maintenance.

Heard at a meeting - 090628

After staying quiet through the "keep coming back" chant at the end of the meeting, say "or, better, just don't leave..."

Sponsor to sponsee: "I agree, your situation is completely as you describe - if I were you I would just go home and and pray for death..."

Heard at a meeting - 090621

(a paraphrase)

"I tried everything to fill that 'god shaped hole' in me: relationships, sex, money, jobs, status, booze, drugs, family, activity, work, food, shopping, children, exercise, status, image, good looks, jewelry, art, distractions - all those things failed to fit that hole...

"In the end, it was only the God I found in AA - through hanging out in the fellowship, working our program of recovery, and being of service - that this hole was filled and I felt complete."

Heard in a meeting 09/06/14...

"I used to hear that I should make a 'gratitude list'. What I'd suggest instead is that you write down what it is that you have (or don't have) that you should be grateful for"

"What a great share of opinion, sickness and despair."

Living...

It is a great day - I woke up (I just remembered how on weekends I used to "come to" instead of "wake up") to follow through on a service commitment, worked around the house, went to a Celestial Seasonings tent sale, went to a Founder's Day picnic, heard a couple of great AA speakers (one spoke in Spanish with translation), connected with several folks (including the guy I met in ICU last week), did some more work around the house, talked to several sponsees, planning to go to dinner and my big home group meeting and our group conscience meeting - it's just about perfect. In fact, I think I'll call it perfect.

Our weather here is unseasonably cool and rainy this spring (it's raining again this afternoon - I think this might be nearly 2 weeks straight of at least every afternoon). In my community, we've almost reached our annual average precipitation amount. I'd be upset except that I remember 2 years ago when we were having 100+ degrees this time of year and scorching drought - I much prefer this. Much as I know it slows some down, I love the cool and don't even mind the rain that much as long as it's sunny for some part of the day (and it generally has been).

Syd had proposed a Sunday meme of "Heard in a meeting..." last week - I think it's a good idea to try. While my meetings may not be as wise as some of the rest of yours, I love to hear the wisdom and the opposite of that when it's said somewhere...

Thanx y'all for this piece of my life...

Heard in a meeting...

"I used to think I wanted a relationship. What I really wanted was someone to hold me while I isolated."