Monday, September 28, 2009

The real deal...

I have a sponsee that I've been meeting with for over 15 years. Rob (does anyone else have a hard time keeping up with the names we give these people? - more evidence of old age I guess), has what would not be called a "low bottom" story. Given the constant tragedy and drama that over-ran his upper middle class family of origin, coupled with his relatively short and uneventful drinking career, I have often wondered if he didn't better qualify for Al-anon.

But, our relationship has seemed to be useful to him. We went through the steps and he seem to have a bona fide spiritual experience ~13 years ago and we'd sort of drifted apart until a few years ago when his life burned down and he threw himself into the program like a drowning man. It may have, indeed, saved his life that time if not before.

I started getting calls from Rob about his sponsee Gary 3 weeks ago. After starting out great guns for 6 months, Gary had sort of stalled out and was drifting away the way we do.

Rob and I agreed that we can only be friendly and honest and share our experience and observations - we don't get to judge or spoil a future opportunity...

Turns out Gary started drinking again and holed up in his house. After some waffling, Rob felt compelled to go knock on the door at his house. He was obviously inside (car hidden around the corner and movement seen inside) but didn't answer. Rob left a note and then thought he was complete.

I've been getting no less than 4 calls a day for the past 3 days from Rob.

Through some miracle that I only see around AA, Gary's family (out of town) found Rob and told him there was a 15 year-old boy possibly involved. Rob went over a couple of more times and still no answer so he called the local police for a well-being check today.

Gary finally talked to the cops (they broke in) and assured them he was fine. The family intervened however and he had to make some choices once the cops found out the kid was involved (was holed up in the house with dad...).

So, Rob got to learn how to check someone into the local detox.

The family heard that we were recommending he go to the ARC and thought they were taking him to the Association for Retarded Citizens center. They were fine with that (send him anywhere!) but we all had a laugh when they learned that it was the county's Addictions Recovery Center.

Rob is beginning to believe that this might be a fatal malady.

Gary is going to feel really bad when he realizes where he is and why he's there.

I'm proud of them both.

4 comments:

Madison said...

In a sad way, a wonderful story.

Scott said...

well there's a dose of real life in AA... I pray that Gary gets it and I am glad the boy was helped through all of this, wow!

Mary Christine said...

Thank God for Rob and you and even if Gary doesn't get sober, his kid got out of there. Phew. That was probably a closer call than any of us will ever know.

Syd said...

I'm hoping that Gary does get it. Rob is learning a lot which is also good. Glad that you were there to be a guide through all of it.