I don't know...

I live today in a life with way more certainty than I think I've ever had.

I found myself thinking of one of those 3-statement things you hear people offer at meetings as their offerings to whatever is being discussed at that moment:

• I don't know
• I need help
• I give up
  

I'm sure that's not exactly what anyone else ever said (or, that it's really all that brilliant) but it's the best I can remember off the top of my head and it sort of makes the point that I am about today - certainty is overrated.

While, today, I like to have my life fairly predictable, life is not. It just isn't.

I'm blessed today with health, enough money to last through today, a few people who care about me - way more than many other people on the planet have tonight.

Yet, the only appropriate response that I can come up with in this spiritual journey is to "give up" - just stop the madness of presuming certainty in anything - at least anything outside of God and AA.

Because, in the midst of all this "certainty", I'm confused - about important stuff. Like: What's real? What's the next right thing? Am I really on the spiritual journey or just deluding myself? You might get the drift...

Anyway, I don't know.

I need help.

I think I'll give up for the day and ask God for the next intuitive thought or action when I need it.

And then, maybe I'll be given the grace to be able to do it...

I hope so...