trudging. I was just getting started on this blogging deal.
I think back and I can't imagine the year of trudging that came between then and now. I truly am in a whole different place now than I was then and I can't imagine any other path that could have gotten me from there to here.
And yet, I'm not quite sure where I am.
The seeds for my reflections are pretty obvious - some readings of others' blog entries and the beginnings for me of the annual USA ritual of filing income taxes.
As I look back through the evidence of our journey through the past year, I'm jarred at how much was done, how little was done, and how much more remains to be done. I can hold all three of those at the same time and find myself completely frozen to make one little step forward toward accomplishment that seems like such a small deal.
So, I wait. I pray. I try not to over-analyze or think. On a really good day, I steer clear of judgments and projections. I try to reach way down deep and embrace some little thought like: "What would a grown-up do in this situation?"
And then, a window of grace opens up and suddenly I'm able to make that huge leap - not to conclusion. That would be nice but it seems pretty rare in my world. The great leaps I make are to put one foot in front of another. To pick up and dial the telephone. To place one piece of paper with another. To fill out one line on a form.
And thus, another year passes in this brief remaining time on this path.
he was pretty broken up about his relapse
2 months ago