Thursday, April 15, 2010

What it is...

I'm back in NYC for 10 days. It was a gorgeous day yesterday and it's supposed to be better today.

It's a delight for me to be here.

I used to get to NY/NJ fairly often when I worked for a company that was based out here.  When I was laid off from my job, I had sort of presumed that I would never be here again.  This is the second trip I've been here this year.

Goes to show you about my plans and ideas and all...

Anyway, I feel I should say something about my post on Saturday, given that a re-reading of it after several comments made it look like I was in some sort of whiny mood around blogging again.  I guess, in part, I was.  I'd like to believe that I'm above asking for my readers' affections but I don't think that's true either.  In he process, it felt like I was in judgment about me for not blogging daily and perhaps readers for their expectations of me.

I wasn't, exactly.

What all that is really about is that I am once again, face-to-face with the nature of the spiritual malady of alcoholism whereby I really would like to show up in my life differently (better) than I am.  I am getting that reinforced from a number of sponsees who are doing this dance of death directly with booze or are trying to manage their lives better by lying and cheating - to themselves and others.

I recognize that because I do the same thing myself.

It's great to be here today and be sober.

God bless us all.


Syd said...

I show up for a lot of things that some others in my life don't show up for. But that's my choice which is a good one for me. I'm glad that you are doing your part. And that you are enjoying NY city.

Mary Christine said...

I hope your trip to NYC is a wonderful one. I also love that city (in short bursts).

I am always happy to see you post... no matter how often that is.

Mary LA said...

I didn't think your post was whiny at all Ed -- I love your commitment to ongoing recovery.

marie said...

Good to read a post from you. It brings to mind something I was told recently, "we will never get to where we want to be but thank God we aren't where we were." If we aren't drinking today, well, that's a miracle.
Many blessings,

Child of God, First Class said...

You make me lonely for the big apple - keep up the blogging, Ed - I need to see more of it.