I think the reason he and I are on this so much recently is that:
- I've felt pretty much failed at several endeavors which seem pretty important
- There's been more self-pity than I'm comfortable in looking at around some of the circumstances in my life
- It just feels like I should be able to be more, do more, have more - there is just a lot about "more" going on in my head these days
Give up? Try harder? Both?
All I can say for me is that the only sanity I get some days is from simple acts of love and service.
I know - makes no sense. Life heading in the crapper? Pick up chairs, clean floors, wash ash trays. Hear that flushing sound from being in the crapper long enough? Call all your sponsees - whether you're supposed to or not. Take a new service commitment. Take several service commitments. Have so many service commitments that you can't pay attention to your life? Problem is solved, isn't it?
WARNING: this is not a program for everyone. I wouldn't expect that most people in the rooms of AA are as sick and as needy as I am.
....but, for me, for today, AA works.
....and, it's never felt to me like my efforts are or will be "good enough" - those are just my feelings...