I marvel at how AA is with our newcomers.Some people just show up and the room swarms to them and embraces them. Others, AA people are more tentative and aloof. Myself, when I showed up in my 3-piece suit and money hanging out of my pockets was pretty much left alone until people could notice if I was going to land anywhere soon or if I was always going to be "better than" until I just died. For the most part, people still leave me to myself 25 years later, but that's a different story...
I marvel at Philip and peoples reaction to him.
In the 3 months since he was delivered to me as a new newcomer (btw - when you search Google images for newcomer, you find that there are lots of people named Newcomer - imagine! All the gravestones for Newcomer bring interesting ideas in AA...), he's been seduced twice, picked up as a "project" a few times by well meaning men and women, gotten job offers (bogus and real) - i.e. he can't seem to show up in AA and just be left alone. This is good. But, it's interesting watching the over-all impact with him.
As the aftermath of his latest relapse of ~10 days ago subsides, he's found new willingness and I think ready to set aside some of the drama of life in early sobriety and start into working the AA program of recovery.
As I've written before, I've struggled trying to figure out how to be helpful with him. I've not done with him what I've done with new sponsees for the past 20 years - start at the beginning of the Big Book and go through it, line by line. Partly because of the peculiar nature of his situation (on a tight leash at the recovery center with lots of time on his hands and unavailable to regular meetings with me) and more because of changing perspectives I've had in my life and AA program.
But now, I think we're going to start at page 0 - you know, the blank cover leaf to the book that has nothing on it - which is all you know about alcoholism and living as an alcoholic when you start into this process...
...and then, we'll just see what happens...
4 comments:
Sounds as if Philip has an aura or charisma about him. Or maybe he attracks those who need to also be in Al-Anon. I know that I have been attracted to wounded people in the past. I hope that I am over that or at least recognize the red flags now.
I can relate to your struggles. I used to sponser a few young women. I knew what to say, had resources for them, but didn't know how to help them through all of their situations.
Great post,
Sue
I have watched people who attract all the well-meaning people and it is my opinion that they don't tend to do as well as the people who have to struggle for everything - like me and sounds like you too.
i often go back to page zero, it gives me clarity.. i have written on it though, but my notes are better cause i forget i usually go back to where i was at sometime or the other..
make sense?
Blessings
Brother Frankie
a BIKER for Christ
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