Four months until Christmas...

I find myself mourning the end of summer and wondering where my life is going.

Since I've yielded to this whole "spirit led life" perspective, I've been off-balance and unwilling to admit how much I'm bothered by this apparent lack of control in my life.

Yet, in many ways - indeed - in most ways, my life is infinitely better than anything I would have designed or planned.

I am very much a slave, a "victim of the delusion that (I) can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if (I) only manage well?" (BB p. 61) I wish I were different, but it's the way I know. It's never worked. It will never work. But, I feel that my happiness and satisfaction will come at my own hand or not at all.

I thank God today that I can see this for what it is - my threadbare character defects wheezing back into life around the places that my fears welcome them.

The truth is that time will march on in accordance with it's usual order. The circumstances in my life will not be any more certain at Xmas than they will be later today. My world, as I view it, can change in an instant or muddle along for decades. I don't get to chose what that will all look like.

...and, that, today, is the good news...