An allergy...

I love in the doctor's opinion when Dr. Silkworth uses the metaphor of an "allergy" to describe the phenomenon of craving that is associated with alcoholism. As the text between the short letter and the long letter in the chapter "The Doctor's Opinion" explains:

"The doctor's theory that we have an allergy to alcohol interests us. As laymen, our opinion as to its soundness may, of course, mean little. But as ex-problem drinkers, we can say that his explanation makes good sense. It explains many things for which we cannot otherwise account." BB - p. XXVI in the 4th edition

I love cantaloupe. I used to live for the time when Colorado's best cantaloupe (Rocky Ford) would come into season. About 23+ years ago, I kept getting sores on the inside of my mouth. Through a summer of noticing when the sores came back, I noticed that it corresponded to when I ate cantaloupe.

I tried cutting back (just a slice or 2) - the d--- sores came back. I really love cantaloupe but I really hated the sores. I tried just one occasionally - got sores. Gave it up completely one summer, tried one piece the next summer - got sores. Eventually, I even figured out that I could get them from a fruit cocktail - even if I didn't eat the cantaloupe pieces, the cantaloupe juice would be enough to cause sores.

I'm hear to tell you, spiritual giant that I am, I'm nearly 22 years abstinent from cantaloupe.

Writing this, I can still salivate thinking of how much I really loved that stuff - but, I've not had any consequences - no sores - for 22 years and counting.

As I was starting out with a new friend the other day and we started into the doctor's opinion in the book, I got to trot out my allergy as an explanation for why I've not experienced the phenomenon of craving for over 25 years.

Allergies...

If you'd asked me 3 weeks ago, I would have told you all about how I was finally (after 56 years) outgrowing my allergies.

I normally sleep well. I am a championship sleeper. I can sleep the whole night through most anything. I love to sleep. Sleep is one of the things I do best and enjoy the most.

Last night, I was reminded that my allergies are not gone. Usually, about the time I start working outside in the spring, we have some killer lilacs that just hate me. I hear them chuckling out there in the yard now as they carefully lob their deadly pollen at me.

My wife bought some new allergy herbs last week. I'd been taking them the past few nights and all seemed well until last night when, at 3am, I woke with the sinus headache and blocked sinuses that reminded me "...while your allergies may not be the same as they were a few years ago, ya still got'em". After getting worse and worse for about an hour, I got up at 4 and took another batch and got another hour sleep before the alarm rang.

I love Silkworth's theory of the phenomenon of craving being like an allergy for the alcoholic. A medical guy I sponsored a few years ago said the definition of allergy was an "abnormal reaction". I understand that metaphor of craving real well from my experience. Another medical guy with heavy credentials "in addictions" told me that the whole allergy/phenomenon of craving thing is not what really happens medically. Makes no difference to me - I can easily relate my experience to what Silkworth describes and it is an abnormal reaction - something the high-powered medical guy could not relate to since he'd not had the experience. Interestingly, he couldn't relate to his daughter either, with her 10+ years sober in AA, and the whole thing just made him mad. In his opinion, AA was just wrong... The message to his daughter was that she should get out of AA since it was so wrong. Imagine...

Intersting as well that Silkworth had the forethought to describe our experience as a theory. In the Big Book we state: "The doctor's theory that we have an allergy to alcohol interests us. As laymen, our opinion as to its soundness may, of course, mean little." We (I) don't take a position on the theory - I just say that it adequately describes what happens when I take a drink that seems different when someone else takes a drink.

...like lilacs...

My wife loves lilacs - they're pretty this time of year and they have a nice fragrence. I like them too. I just can't sleep when they attack me. She gets by fine. If she had her way, we'd strip the lilac bushes and put their blooms all over the house. She has done this in the past - when she wasn't particularly sensitive toward my feelings or needs.

Anyway, I'm grateful that I can live without booze today - that's true by God's grace. I'm grateful that lilacs only torment me for about another 3 weeks. That's true by God's grace.

Until then, I'm grateful for the reminder.

That's God's grace...