Monday, February 15, 2010

If...

For the past few days, I've had hat the lyrics to "If I Were a Rich Man"  stuck in my head.  Probably not all that surprising given that, off the top of my head, I've worked on 6 productions of Fiddler on the Roof in the theater, have seen it produced by others (including on Broadway) at least 8 or 10 times and have seen the movie countless times. 

About the only relief I get from that the past few days seems to be when I'm working with others and then the tune in my head has largely been "Tradition."

When life gets uncomfortable for me, I can so relate to Tevye in fantasizing it being improved by money, relationship changes, political differences, changes in the weather, whatever.  Likewise, when people are struggling in any way with compliance to the principles of AA, my answer wants to be "...because you just have to do it that way if you want to stay sober."

Yet, people in far worse situations and circumstances than mine all over the world are happy and grateful.  People who work a radically different AA program than I get sober and seem effective in their lives.  I guess my only natural response to that would be that I would have to hate them for that.

I thought I was over my head cold last Wednesday but this morning was the first morning that I've felt anywhere over 80% towards normal.  Last Friday, I finally had the bright idea that I could move the Kleenex box down from the shelf to the place where I could reach it while at my computer.  I'm a pretty slow study sometimes.

Anyway, when I'm sick (in many different types of ways), my "situation" becomes more intolerable and it seems the only think I can bring to the table is judgment/condemnation.

Seems I still have some things to learn.  I guess that's why I'm here.  As my sponsor continues to remind me: "All that is asked of me is my best effort."  God seems to add to that whatever additional is needed.  With God's help, I can learn and life will continue to surprise me with blessings aplenty.

That's been my experience so far.

5 comments:

The Turning Point said...

I have to keep in mind that for every person in AA there is a program. That the steps and all are suggestions not the law.
Its just that whatever they're doing works.

JF

Mary Christine said...

"I guess my only natural response to that would be that I would have to hate them for that." Gee, I wish I couldn't relate totally to that sentiment. But thanks for expressing it in a way that made me laugh.

Hope you get well soon!

Syd said...

I don't do well when I'm sick either. But thankfully my sickness only lasted a day.

Carol said...

I was very tired and out of sorts yesterday, somehow managed to clean up my room and felt like a new human being. Sometimes I feel like I'm five years old.

Steve E said...

Ed, you show a great deal of humility I did not notice a year or more ago. You cannot say that...but I can--grin! (And I mean it.)

Get well now, dammmmit!