I've not written about him for a number of months simply because, well, he's just turned into another soldier in the program - just a drunk doing this deal to the best of his ability and dealing with sobriety, one day at a time. Left to my own devices, I would certainly not choose to love these guys - it hurts to much when they hurt. But, in spite of my best efforts to protect myself and my interests - here we are...
It was with no small amount of misgivings that I started out with him. He faced impossible odds, so many fail coming from his dire circumstances, he's not certainly of the same culture and background of most members in our AA community, etc. But, here we are 6 months later and we're slogging through the book.
Some would be critical of the method that I use in going through the program - hell, I'm critical of how I go through the program. We basically read the book, one line at a time, and discuss what it says and relate it to our experience and our lives. As we started out months ago, I went through some now familiar misgivings: it's an old book written in a style I find, well problematic; it doesn't relate much to today's times; it's a very slow process for someone to get what they need for today to stay sober. Many misgivings.
About 3 months ago, one more time, I saw the miracle happen with Philip as it has for me and many others. He is alive and different in ways that are, to not put too fine a point on it, miraculous. And, we haven't gotten to steps 3 and 4 yet. I can't help but get excited at the possibilities which will open up for someone who's higher power is acting so powerfully in his life.
This morning, we read:
"...We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people--was not a basic solution of these bedevilments more important than whether we should see newsreels of lunar flight?...
...When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work. But the God idea did." BB p. 52
He "got it" and, more important to this article, I got it. The solution to these "bedevilments" is a simple reliance upon God. Duh!
Have I mentioned recently that I've been stuck in self? A lot?
Here is evidence of the problem (yes, with 26 years of sobriety, I can and do still get sick and have evidence of these bedevilments). Here is the solution.
AA works - it really does.
8 comments:
I'm glad for Philip and for you. It seems such a simple solution, yet I make it so hard. Thanks for the post. I really like the "bedevilment" part since I've had a lot of those.
I love that word -- bedevilment! I must use it in a share soon! LOL
I love hearing about people getting it, when the light goes on. There is nothing else like it.
Thank you so much for sharing this. This is how I sponsor people too and lately I have had my doubts about it. I think there are other problems afoot in a situation and not the process...
AA works... it really does.
wink wink.
Thanks for this, and I too with 21 years still get sick sometimes and have to remember that simple truth....a reliance upon a power greater then myself, whom I choose to call God.
It's amazing how this thing works.
It's very true that it works when we work it, sadly right now I feel all of these things and if it were not for AA and the program, I would have no way to know what to do or how to turn it over, but thankfully I do.
Great post...
G
Ed IMHO you have changed immeasurably during the past year that I've been reading you.
A great topic, and awareness is the first step. In these times when AA seemingly is being attacked from all sides (Ceasar said "undique") it is imperative for you to stand. And I, the coward says "I'll be right behind you"--grin!
Further I wish to say that anyone who is able to speak with you one-on-one on subjects such as this is fortunate, honored, and probably grateful..
So much here. Whether I ever or never post again, I will still read your erudite articles. Thank you.
Love, and peace.
Steve
Thanks for your post. It makes me sad to think there is so much misinformation out there. AA and Al-Anon have saved countless lives. I've always thought it works IF you work it. But that requires willingness above all.
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